Exactly two years ago, today I had started my blog. Having been tired of the world and the politics of the privileged for years, I had taken to the platform. I could never imagine that this blog would be read by thousands despite of me being inconsistent with it. Today, my words have reached to […]
A lot of things happened, I turned into a woman that I had not imagined to be. But I am a proud woman today. I am not proud of the events that had led to the becoming of this individual but I am proud of who I have become. I guess the harsh world is necessary to become someone who is like me. But in this strange dark world, I have found a little corner for myself, something that is mine and I live everyday to build that space up for myself and for those who matter to me.
I recently finished watching “Axone” on Netflix and towards the end as the wedding (plot of the movie) got over, I was left with a small if not huge discomfort regarding some of the aspects, scenes and dialogues in the movie. Before I jump into typing what is wrong with “Axone”, let me admit to […]
The Sri Lankan Civil War is known to us all and like any other civil war, there are uncountable instances of tragedies that float in the forgotten and remembered accounts of the people who have have seen with their own eyes and been through days when parents have been killed, daughters have been raped and sons have been amputated. This book tries to capture a similar tragedy through a brief marriage.
But then as you said, you will find ways of feeling me, I had found ways of feeling your absence. I take love and I try to give love. Even if it pains, I try to live and that life is different from the life that we have lived together which is preserved in the memories of my otherwise miserable mind. The memories for which I breathe. It is true that I feel your absence but it does not always bring tears to my eyes.
Rituals are strange, aren’t they father? I felt the heat that came out of your burning body on one side and I felt the cold dead feet of your on the other side. I do not know which was the reality, your cold body or the heat of the fire that was slowly consuming your tangible existence. Within minutes you had disappeared into the fire and I knew somehow that this forever is never going to change even in some wild imagination of mine. I knew you were gone because I had seen you disappear myself and I had no one to blame for it. Your flesh burnt, the hands that I were holding, did they disappear too? The smoke that rose from your body gave out a peculiar smell that felt like someone is preparing for a feast.
The dye on your hair looked just a week old and I know you were not ready to leave, but the truth is that you were gone and it was forever. Is there something called forever in death, my father?
The death of a loved one is painful but our lives beyond that death is something that cannot be described in any of the defined words of the dictionary.
It has taken me 42 or 43 attempts to publish this and the only purpose behind this publication is to connect to people who are going through this. Healing from this can be a life-long process and I often feel very lonely on this journey. Hoping to bring in some relief to all those grieving souls. Loads of love!
I remember everything from that visit but the only things that still looms in my heart are the fierce dreams that stubbornly refuse to bow down in front of fate, the girl who was not afraid to slap the truth in front of mine and everyone’s fake promises and the will that I had regained of the one that my father had implanted in me: to give more than you have. I shall allow this to keep disturbing me until I turn that promise into a reality.
After the nation wide noise on a Sunday-evening of random utensils, drums even crackers, a nation-wide lock-down was announced. Humanity is facing a crisis so big that it has brought busy streets to a stand-still, forced economies to shut down and have also led to the creation of new mantras and hymns. it would be […]